I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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