I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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