sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i will never coherently bang her
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
