Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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