no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
