Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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