im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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