Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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