i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
