Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Randomize
