i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
