letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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