On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
