I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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