so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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