Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
