I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
