Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
