Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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