Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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