Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
