I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
