I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
