he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
