If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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