We won't sleep together?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
