respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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