that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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