it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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