i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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