I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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