k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
We need to get me chipped asap
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
