I want to have your abortion
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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