so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
