I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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