I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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