ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
