I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
