I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
