i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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