Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
