i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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