i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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