I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
