my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
