how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
