They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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