What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
