is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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