so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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