So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
