So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
