he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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