1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Can i not drive my cunt home
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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