its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
