Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
