Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
