even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I think we might need a safe word for this...
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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