He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize