Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
