i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
