He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
