just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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