Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
