Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize