Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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