someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
